Monday, May 01, 2006

Self-Inflicted Wounds

The local fishwrap reports today that Americans are offended by the Republican's generous offer of a 100 bucks to offset rising gas prices. To the Republican's I can only say, "well, duh!" 100 bucks buys you two tanks of gas, wait a sec, one tank and a splash so I guess if I'm used to being bought off for a couple of grand (gimme my tax cut, red state boys!) 100 would seem pretty offensive. Seems to me that they shouldn't have tried to bribe the public for anything less than a grand.

Yet the idea that gas prices are too high is sort of a hoot, unless of course you are barely scraping by and you live in a city that has only recently discovered mass transit. I do feel bad for those folks but it doesn't change the way I feel about anyone driving a V-8 four-wheel drive station wagon, you know, a damn SUV. No tears for you. In fact, fuck you if you can't take a joke. If you think you're a lefty and you are complaining about the price of gas, you aren't really a lefty. Complain about the obscene oil company profits sure, but high gas prices are good thing. We might actually have to face reality, which is for our kids if not ourselves going to include a daily report on worldwide carbon dioxide levels.

The fattening of the American automobile over the last couple of decades is just plain short-sighted, kind of like a 100 dollar congressional bribe. The good news is that engine technology has gotten scads better and for the extra 100-200 horsepower required to pull your chubby thighs and cloven hooved offspring around with the type of alacrity you deserve the mileage per gallon has only dipped slightly. For each horse we use less fuel, and this is a good thing. Unfortunately we have been too fricking selfish to put this calculus to use to cut fuel consumption. This dog is now, just now, learning to hunt. Let's all pray for 4 bucks a gallon and some new blood in the public sector.

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